i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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