So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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