Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
