I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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