You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
