Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
