glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
