I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
