week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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