kristin has been a bad kristin
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
