she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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