But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
