After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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