I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
