There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
