I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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