There is no way he is gay with that hair.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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