He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
