why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
