I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
zippers are such a cool invention
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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