i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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