i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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