hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I want is dick and wine.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize