It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
