Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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