We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
