Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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