So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
