is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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