Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
