Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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