Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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