You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
