Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
