We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
