Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
