Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand

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  (704): it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand http://tfl.nu/nxpy
  Replies (24) Good night (2733) Bad night (504)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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  (518): i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good. http://tfl.nu/b46x
  Replies (44) Good night (10053) Bad night (657)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin

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  (802): you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin http://tfl.nu/5vsk
  Replies (15) Good night (4937) Bad night (978)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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  (704): I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy. (919): Colt 45 out of anything is classy. http://tfl.nu/9zxf
  Replies (17) Good night (4518) Bad night (837)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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  (985): I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/zv6d
  Replies (6) Good night (5806) Bad night (882)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

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  (978): he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works http://tfl.nu/o828
  Replies (11) Good night (4396) Bad night (1760)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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  (201): Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/of56
  Replies (30) Good night (6994) Bad night (790)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1199) Bad night (900)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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  (413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore
  Replies (11) Good night (1811) Bad night (521)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  (859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25
  Replies (6) Good night (437) Bad night (745)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles

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  (612): I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/axk7
  Replies (0) Good night (1015) Bad night (401)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.

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  (202): Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head. http://tfl.nu/ntvr
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (246)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO

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  (269): CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO http://tfl.nu/xwnd
  Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (256)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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  (902): I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza. http://tfl.nu/8hbb
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (382)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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  (732): he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot " http://tfl.nu/4jvz
  Replies (7) Good night (974) Bad night (303)

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