I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009