this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce