i think my mom watched the whole time
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
