Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.