She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with