when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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