Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
