with your own penis?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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