Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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