its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
