Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
