whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
