Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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