i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
