Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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