I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
