I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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