when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
