I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
