So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
