no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pooping to opera.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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