he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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