Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
