just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
