someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
